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toelettatura

Vita da cani

Shanti significa “pace” e mai nome è stato più azzeccato: sono una cagnolona molto tranquilla e pacata, non abbaio mai senza motivo e mantengo un perfetto autocontrollo in moltissime situazioni. Non mi sono mai allontanata dai miei umani nonostante io viaggi spesso senza guinzaglio, non ho mai morso se non per mangiare e non mi è mai importato molto di distruggere divani o scarpe.
Tuttavia, mantengo un vizio di cui non riesco a fare a meno e che mi caratterizza fin da quando ero solo una cucciola: l’ossessione per l’ordine e la pulizia. Ci tengo a mostrarmi in società con il pelo ed il profumo adeguato, poiché so che questi piccoli dettagli fanno muovere ripetutamente la coda ai miei conspecifici di sesso maschile.
Perciò, alla prima occasione, corro ad immergermi nei miei profumi preferiti . Ultimamente prediligo gli escrementi di mucca, che sono l’ultima moda in fatto di profumo. Inoltre ho la fortuna di bazzicare spesso in prati e campagne, dove queste prelibatezze sono a portata di zampa. Non disdegno neppure escrementi umani o carcasse in putrefazione, ma nulla fa risaltare il mio pelo color cioccolato come una bella striatura di cacca bovina.
Quest’ossessione che per me è un gran vanto , rappresenta invece un incubo per la mia compagna bipede; ogni volta che ritorno dai campi bella pulita e profumata, vedo l’espressione schifata e sconfortata sul viso della mia umana. Non voglio essere troppo dura con lei, anzi la compatisco: sicuramente ha dei seri deficit a livello olfattivo poiché proprio non riesce a percepire bene gli odori , tanto che spesso confonde le puzze con i profumi.
La poverina è convinta di pulire i pavimenti di casa con liquidi dal fetore impressionante, ma la cosa peggiore è che pretende di “lavare” anche me con prodotti nauseabondi. Sicuramente qualcuno si è accorto del suo problema al naso e se ne approfitta per rifilarle schifezze spacciandogliele per profumi; come quell’abominio che si spalma addosso ogni tanto. Non vi dico l’agonia quando mi abbraccia o semplicemente si mette accanto a me ed il mio delicato naso viene assediato da quegli odori infernali! Più volte ho cercato di farle notare questi suoi errori emettendo ripetuti starnuti o allontanandomi dal suo corpo putrido, ma sappiamo che gli umani sono spesso molto lenti nel comprendere anche le regole sociali più basilari.Io ho sempre mantenuto la calma e cercato di essere il più tollerante possibile… tuttavia poco tempo fa  quella stupida bipede ha toccato veramente il fondo!
Eravamo impegnate a passeggiare insieme per campi come ogni domenica : lei con il naso per aria,quasi come se dovesse fiutare il mondo con gli occhi ed io ovviamente a seguire le piste olfattive per entrambe.
Ad un certo punto, l’odore di casa e di vita mi ha inondato le narici: i pascoli erano vicini, tra poco avremmo incontrato i miei tanto amati escrementi vaccini. Solitamente non mi allontano mai così tanto, ma quella sera avevo appuntamento con i cani del quartiere al giardino sotto casa e quella cagna della Lupa Cecoslovacca sicuramente avrebbe sfoggiato il suo odorino di carcassa di coniglio che si era procurata da qualche giorno. Non potevo né volevo sfigurare!
Dunque ho preso distanza dalla mia umana che è subito entrata nel panico senza la sua guida , e mi sono fiondata verso la fonte di quel profumo. Finalmente eccole lì, le cacche fresche e lievemente squagliate dal sole. Estasiata ed inebriata mi sono subito rovesciata sulla schiena, lasciando che quella sostanza ricoprisse gran parte del mio pelo e sottopelo. Sono rimasta così per qualche istante, godendomi quella sincronia con la natura e con il mio essere cane… finché l’umana non mi ha raggiunto e non ha iniziato con i suoi soliti gridolini spaventati e disgustati. Ho dovuto sopportare la sua agonia fino a casa ed è stato veramente difficile perché non ha smesso di lamentarsi un attimo; era veramente inferocita perché quando ho provato a darle qualche leccatina per chiederle di smettere di disturbarmi , quella ha ritratto la mano ed ha di nuovo sfoggiato la sua espressione di disgusto. Sto pensando di provare con i fiori di Bach, magari la calmano un po’…Tornando a noi e alla mia terribile esperienza, il viaggio di ritorno dalla scampagnata domenicale  non si è concluso con il solito riposino a casa: c’è stata un’orribile tappa intermedia.
Ho riconosciuto subito gli odori acri ed invadenti dei prodotti chimici, il pavimento freddo e l’arredo più triste di una ciotola vuota. Ma soprattutto ho riconosciuto Lei: quella prigione di metallo e liquido urticante che gli umani chiamano “vasca” . Insomma il più inutile spreco di acqua della storia, visto che non ci si può neanche nuotare , urinare o pescarci.
Avrete già capito, cari amici, che quella mi aveva portato dal toelettatore. Nessun luogo è per me più umiliante e terrificante di quella sala delle torture: quella bipede che vive lì dentro è veramente scaltra ed abile nel raggiungere ogni singola parte del mio pelo con i suoi prodotti immondi. Quando è la mia umana a “lavarmi” , posso sempre contare su qualche lieve ricordo del mio odore iniziale… ma quando esco dalla toeletta sono solo un ammasso di peli che emana tanfo di lavanda, pino silvestre o talco mentolato.
Sono tornata a casa meditando vendetta, solo che poi tra una ciotola da svuotare, un gatto da rincorrere e un corpo umano da scaldare con il mio respiro mi sono proprio scordata di essere arrabbiata.
Oggi è di nuovo Domenica , siamo di nuovo in giro insieme come è naturale e logico che sia… ed il mio tesoro si trova di nuovo lì sul prato, profumato ed invitante. So bene che, rotolandomici, dovrò riaffrontare la tortura del toelettatore…eppure mi immergo di nuovo in quel profumo avvolgente e sfrego con gioia e gusto la schiena. Cara umana e amica, forse non riuscirai mai a distinguere le puzze dai profumi, ma sicuramente una cosa voglio insegnartela : quanto sia importante viversi il presente.

Livia Carnazza
Se siete curiosi di conoscere l’associazione Orma di Maya o di partecipare ad alcune attività potete trovarci su Facebook oppure contattare i responsabili e fondatori:
Simone Volpin( per l’educazione, i percorsi sportivi e le classi) :3498652139
Alessandra Colligiani ( per le passeggiate ): 3391764899

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